Posted by Nancy Robards Thompson
We’ve all know someone who’s totally butchered the lyrics to a song. Not us, of course, but maybe a family member or a close, personal friend. Someone who was belting out a tune – in total rock star mode - when it happened –“WAIT! What did you say?… NO! That’s not how the song goes! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!!”
They’ve bungled the lyrics.
For me, the most delightful episode of misheard lyrics happened when my daughter was three. I was working in my office. She was playing quietly by herself in her room when she started to sing. Her sweet little voice carried down the hall, and the song went like this:
“You’re a grandma flag,
You’re a hot flying flag,
And forever in peace may she wave.
You’re the emblem of the land I love,
the home of the tree by the lake.
Every heart beats true for the red, white and blue
And there’s never a loaf of bread.
May all the Lincolns be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grandma flag.”
I nearly wet my pants. Seriously. I had to clasp my hand over my mouth to keep from ha-ha-ha’ing out loud. Once I contained myself, I walked into her room.
“Whatcha singing?” I asked.
“A song I learned in school,” she said.
“Really? Sing it for me again.”
And she did. With gusto.
Exactly as I’d heard it.
Lincolns and all.
To this day it’s my favorite misheard lyrics story. I think it’s even better than the time my high school friend sang, “HAM ON RYE” when Kenny Logins sang, “I’M ALRIGHT.” Or when a girl at a party was belting out, “YOU GOTTA DANCE TO THE LEFT, DANCE TO THE RIGHT…” as Jimmy Buffet sang, “YOU’VE GOT FINS TO THE LEFT, FINS TO THE RIGHT.” (She even had her own little dance to go with her imagined lyrics) It even aces the time someone I know sang, “STOP! In the NEIGHBORHOOD before you break my heart.” When everyone knows Diana Ross says, “STOP! In the NAME OF LOVE….”
Since I’m telling tales on everyone else, I suppose it’s only fair to admit it happened to me the other day. As a general rule, I don’t sing in public. If you heard me you’d understand. But I’m a diva in the car, and I was singing along to Jordan Spark’s song, “Battlefield.”
You’d think the song title – BATTLEFIELD – might have clued me in. Still, rather than, “Why does love always feel like a BATTLEFIELD.” I heard and sang a heartfelt, “Why does love always feel like it’s BAD FOR YOU.” That’s forgivable, but when she got to the part where she sings, “Go get your ARMOR.” I could’ve sworn she said, “Go get your MAMA.” <hanging head in shame>
For my daughter, it was ultimate payback time for the mileage I’d gotten out of her “Grandma Flag.” Not only did she Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha, she pointed her finger at me and clutched the area where her belly would be if she had one. Touché.
How about you? Have you ever misheard lyrics or know of someone who has? Please share it. Maybe it will divert attention from my BATTLEFIELD bungle.
A country song to this day I’m not sure if it’s Third rate romance or third grade romance.
Then there’s ‘magnet and steel’ that I would just mumble over.
Funny post and a great way to start my Tuesday!
Marcie, LOL! I vote for “third grade” romance. Wasn’t that back when everything was simple? Er…maybe not, but I guess a “third grade” romance is better than a “third rate” romance. What do ya think?
Yeah, I think third grade is better than a third rate one!!
Nancy, so funny! I will never think of Grand Old Flag quite the same again.
I used to mangle a bit of the pledge of allegiance:
And to the republic, for witches stand
one nation, under guard,
with liberty and justice for all.
Chris, between you and my daughter you could do a whole new take on patriotism. I’ll toss in a Star Spangled Banner with a “donzerly light” and we could be a trio.
Thanks for the laugh. Mine is not as good as the grandma flag but when I was young for years I thought the last line of Rudolf the red nosed reindeer was “and you’ll go down and hear story.”
Linda, that’s cute! And you reminded me — when I was very young, I thought that verse in Up On The Housetop said, “Up on the housetop reindeer paws.”
Oh, Nancy! That’s too funny! And seriously, I’ve had so many!
My fav of mine was Huey Lewis’s “I Want a New Drug.” I swore it was “I Want a New Truck” which makes NO sense. The funniest thing is that I didn’t like the song BECAUSE it made no sense. One day I was complaining about the non-sense song when my brother (who, honestly, was like nine or ten at the time) turns to me with this you-are-too-stupid-to-live look and says, “It’s ‘drug.’ I want a new ‘drug.’” Ohhhhhh…
Stacy
Don’t you just love brothers, Stacy?
lol This was great. I’m sure I’ve mangled MANY lyrics, but I can’t think of any right now. I just remember hearing that if I forgot the lyrics during a chorus concert, to mouth the words “Rutabaga-mashed potato.” My tip for the day.:)
Leanne, rutabaga-mashed potato? That’s hilarious!
So funny, Nancy! Have to admit, the thing I’m laughing over most is your daughter getting pay-back and clutching “the area where her belly would be if she had one.”
I always think of that Manfred Mann song “Blinded by the Light” whose lyrics NOBODY can work out correctly. “wrapped up like a….” Wha-a?
Lilian, I KNOW, right? I wonder if that *word* was even allowed on the radio back when the song was released.
My all-time best misheard lyric is in “Mississippi Queen”. Apparently I am geographically challenged as well as lyrically challenged, because I heard “…way down around Pittsburgh, near Louisiana way” instead of “…way down around Vicksburg…”!!! Pittsburgh is nowhere near Louisiana, of course! I didn’t discover this amazing error until three years ago.
My daughter had a good one. When she was four years old she asked me about the song “Every Rose Sucks Its Thumb”. “Um, sweetie, it’s really ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’!” Too funny.
Sandy, Every Rose is a personal favorite of my daughter and mine. I’ll have to share the Every rose sucks its thumb line. Although, she’s probably going to kill me when she discovers me waving the Grandma Flag.
Love this, Nancy! I’m infamous for singing the wrong lyrics, but my favorites involve others!
Courtney’s favorite Christmas song-feliz navidad which she sang at age four as at least my names da.
And my sister Donna who sang I’m to sexy for my shirt as I’m two sixty-four my shirt!